I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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