Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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