I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
