Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
