she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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