I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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