i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
