The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize