i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
