i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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