He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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