I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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