My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
