So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize