I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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