three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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