I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
