it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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