We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
