No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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