i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
