Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
