Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize