the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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