just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
