How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
