Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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