im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
