Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
