Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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