I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
