Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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