So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize