I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
this hospital has no fireball
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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