he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
