The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
