do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
