Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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