I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize