we have officially lost it.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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