He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize