hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
