I cockslap morals
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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