i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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