Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
