Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

ice luge is my downfall...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...u mean upfall.

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(520): View more from Arizona

She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

Fav 19 9377 1346
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(206): View more from Washington

I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia

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(251): View more from Alabama

I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.

Fav 23 2711 4651
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(970): View more from Colorado

I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.

Fav 6 2210 803
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(703): View more from Virginia

There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.

Fav 19 1778 1208
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(240): View more from Maryland

YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.

Fav 12 2757 898
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(+61): View more from Australia

You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.

Fav 1 638 379
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(614): View more from Ohio

You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Just the cushions

Fav 0 21 28
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