You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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