marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
