If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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