I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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