Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you never un-have a 4some
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
