I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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