windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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