i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
