In the future we'll all be gay
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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