I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
