after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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