His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i came on her dog
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
