Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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