I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
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