hotel room ftw
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
