Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
