the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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