it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
