Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
