bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
