But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
