we have pet lesbian snakes
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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